The fatty has returned

August 2, 2014

So, my depression has been pretty bad lately which for me means increased late night binges caused by sleeping all day and comfort eating at random points. The lack of structure in my diet combined with my inability to leave the house means my weight has visibly ballooned, but I’m ready to take control again. I leave for Barcelona with my mates on the 20th August so I have less than 3 weeks to shed this extra weight. What a challenge.

Anyway, today I have eaten:

B – nothing (0)

L – boiled egg white (17)

S – approx. 8 boiled sweets (64)

D – salad (200) and pepsi max (2)

= 283 calories

I’m considering going for a run later in the evening to get some physical activity and speed up the weight loss process. Tomorrow I will be better; by that I mean I won’t shove eight sweets into my mouth at snack time, though I am pleased that I stopped there and it didn’t turn into a binge, which it so easily could have done… Anyway, until Barca I’m not allowing myself to eat more than 300 calories daily and I also must burn some of it off either by going for long walks or jogging in the evening (because it won’t be so hot and unbearable!)

EDIT: later this night I went for a run, which was really terrible. I can’t believe how unfit I’ve become. What have I been doing to my body?? When I got back I felt really faint and ended up eating 10 more sweets (80) bringing my calorie intake up to 363 hahahah I hate myself. To make up for it thought I’ve just done loads of exercises in my room, including 100 jumping jacks, 10 squats, 10 leg lifts on each side and other random bits. Hopefully that cancels out the sweets a bit, but to be safe I’m being much stricter tomorrow.

Today’s intake

July 7, 2014

Breakfast: 4 rich tea biscuits (152) and yoghurt (40)

Lunch: thai gren curry with 1/4 potato and mixed vegetables (200)

Snacks: 10 cherries (40) go ahead snack bar (148) 1 biscuit (55)

Dinner: 1 small corn on the cob (98) and tea (15)

= 748 calories

 

Breakfast

January 16, 2013

I have an exam today so I made sure to eat a good, low calorie breakfast even though it’s difficult for me to stomach it with these terrible nerves!

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Five strawberries, two honey and oat Belvita breakfast biscuits, and a cup of tea! Wish me luck.

Today has been great so far, food wise. On New Years I decided that I wanted 2013 to be the year I finally reached my goal of losing weight and eventually finding happiness in myself and my body. In order for this to happen, it dawned on me that I would therefore need to adopt a more healthier approach to dieting which includes several changes that I began today (a week late, but I needed time to adjust and get back into a normal routine after the Christmas break!).

These are the changes: – an increased calorie intake limit of 1000 calories – more fruit and vegetables incorporated – making an effort to walk more daily – increasing the amount of water consumed – stressing less about calorie content – allowing myself healthy and yummy snacks – sticking to a bedroom exercise routine I’m really pleased with my choices to be more healthy and give my body what it wants and needs, rather than denying it of certain nutrients for the sake of losing weight, only to stuff my face later on and feel crappy. I want this to be a lifestyle change, mot a quick-fix, crash diet.

Here is what I have eaten so far today, and what I plan to have for dinner in a couple of hours:

B – two honey and oats belvita breakfast biscuits (58)
S – a medium apple (60)
L – rice and chilli con carne (284) with vegetables (30)
S – one raisin brunch bar (150)
D – two wholemeal toasts (210) with peanut butter (68) and banana slices (90)
= 900 calories

I have a really great feeling about 2013.

Right, so as those of you who follow me already know, I’ve returned to restricting mode but with an increased limit of 700 calories (ew it seems so much when I type it but I know it’s the right thing to do) and since I’m having a new start, I thought it’d make sense to sit down for minutes and make a daily food plan. This is what I usually prefer having because it helps to keep the structure and I’m more likely to stick to it if it’s all mapped out and ready. Plus it means I am less likely to give up and binge because I’m eating more now and at regular intervals. On the bus journey home from sixth form, I made two different meal plans – one for the weekdays when I have school, and another for weekends. I thought some of you may be interested in reading what I will be eating and maybe you might want to copy it as it is extremely filling and pretty healthy, not to mention yummy!

Click here!! to read my weekday meal plan

Click here!! to read my weekend meal plan

I feel so motivated and ready to finally start losing weight and feeling good about myself because right now I am just big sack of lard; it’s pathetic. As for today’s intake:

B – toast w/ jam (118) and tea (15)

L – weight watchers beef lasagna (247) eurgh this tasted horrible, I won’t be buying this one again!

S – special k biscuits (98) and medium orange (55)

D – baked beans (60) w/ boiled egg white (17)

= 610 calories

Today has been such a great day! I don’t feel guilty about eating that much because I’m just full and satisfied so there is no chance I’ll be scoffing my face later on. Hopefully I can keep this up for the rest of the week, and the week after that haha. I usually slip up and binge by Wednesday but I don’t see that happening this time, because I’m just feeling so positive about everything.

I hope you’re all have a good day, too!

Today I began fasting, as promised in my previous text post. It’s going pretty well, I think. I have a slight stomach pain but I’m not feeling too hungry or anything and I’m so motivated that I could last for at least three days – it’d be great if I actually made it until school opened though. A clothing website that I’m registered with (asos.com) sent me a magazine today with all the new items they have in stock, and as a little treat they also sent a bar of Galaxy chocolate. It was yum. Well, I wouldn’t know if it was yum or not because I didn’t eat any of it! Yeah, not even a tiny square. Instead I shared it out with my family and went upstairs with a mug of ice water. I felt proud which is a change from the feelings I’ve had recently (guilt and shame). I’m still fat though, let’s not forget.

At midday, I decided it would do me good to go for a walk, so I walked quite briskly to the shopping centre (I usually get the bus which is only 10 minutes) and it took me 20 minutes. I looked around at the shops and found a pair of caramel heeled ankle boots for half price! I ended up buying them after trying them on twice and debating with myself in my head. They’re gorgeous.

I’m only allowing myself to have water, diet fizzy drinks, and tea. Sadly we’ve run out of green tea which sucks but normal tea bags will have to do. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll be having my usual black tea with a teaspoon of brown sugar (15 calories) or if I’ll cut out any calories completely. Maybe I should have it with sugar every morning, just to help me keep on with this.

This post is completely all over the place. I don’t think it made any sense. Oh well… Wish me luck!

I tried my best, but I really can’t. It’s horrible and I have such a terrible pain in my stomach that I just can’t shake. It may be because I’m about to start my period, I don’t know.

Anyway, that means my calorie intake today is not 271.

271 – (76 / 2) = 233 calories

Today has been successful in terms of eating, which is usual when I’m on day one of getting back on track. In terms of exercise, I’ve been pretty pathetic (which, sadly, is always completely usual) despite my earlier promises of making an effort. Someone needs to give me a massive kick up the bum. I’m sure there would be plenty of volunteers, haha.

Anyway, my intake:

B – nothing, I woke up late (0)

L – potatoes (48), sweetcorn (28) w/ gravy (15)

S – diet coke (1), marshmallows (50), tea w/ brown sugar (15), ice lolly (14)

D – tomato soup (76), two slices of melba toast (24)

= 271 calories

At the moment, I am struggling through a tin of Weight watchers tomato soup. It’s cold now and I can’t bring myself to eat any more, but I have to because I know I will be hungry in an hour but won’t be allowed to eat anything else. Aahhhh. If anyone wants to come here and help me polish off this 76 calorie soup, be my guest!

I have high hopes for tomorrow.

This is so shit – my parents gave me over £200 for my birthday in May yet here I am with only £20 left of it. And why? Well, because I had to fork out £160 for my boyfriend to stay in a hotel for two nights. Arrghh, it’s so annoying. I don’t have a job and my parents don’t give me pocket money over the holidays, plus I can’t exactly ask them for more because they’ve already given me so much and they think I still have it. As you can imagine, my broke state made it really hard to buy anything today when I went grocery shopping without feeling incredibly guilty. Not because of the calories, but because of the money I was spending. I hate it.

Well then, it’s safe to say that today’s food shopping experience was no where near as fun as it usually is. Regardless, I bought four cans of Weight watcher’s tomato soup, a 12-pack of coke zero, two apples, a packet of melba toast (now down to 12 calories per slice!), special K chocolate cereal bars and low fat marshmallows with wafers.

Today’s intake:

B – apple (60) with toffee yogurt (88)

L – prawn salad (70) and diet coke (1)

S – marshmallow w/ wafer (50), raisins (42), diet coke (1)

D – tomato soup (76) w/ two slices of melba toast (24)

= 412 calories

That’s alright; it’s more than yesterday, but it’s still alright. I’ve managed to get in half an hour’s walk on the way to the supermarket and also did fifty sit ups on my bed. That is no where near I want to be doing but at least it’s something.

Today in a nutshell

July 22, 2012

Woah, I just noticed I’ve had a random influx of viewers! Where have you all come from? It’s good to know I’m not just writing all this to myself, though I never expected anyone would ever read this blog.

Today hasn’t been so bad I guess – my only regret is eating an extra nectarine and not doing any exercise, but it could have been much worse, right? I really need to stop being such a lazy fat arse though and start doing even just a tiny bit of exercise. Seriously. I also need to start doing sit ups every night (at least 50 a night) because my stomach so horribly fat. It’s so depressing thinking back to the times when I didn’t need to do any sort of exercise yet still managed to maintain a perfectly toned stomach.

Anyway, here is today’s intake:

B – medium nectarine (62) with a glass of ice water (0)

L – tea w/ brown sugar (15) and two biscuits (76)

S – a small box of raisins (43) and a can of diet coke (1)

D – medium banana (105) and a nectarine (62)

= 364 calories

That’s not too bad, but I can’t help feeling guilty for eating that extra nectarine after the banana. I really didn’t need it; I’m just so bloody greedy and fat fat fat. Everything I’ve eaten today has been little snacks. I haven’t had any proper meals because I couldn’t find anything low calorie to make in my house, which meant I just grazed on anything I could find that I deemed healthy enough. Eh.

Tomorrow I’m going to take a walk to the shopping centre to look for new shoes – I usually take the bus there but I figured walking would be a good way to get some exercise in – even though I don’t currently have enough money to actually buy any. I’m also going to go grocery shopping for enough food to last me a week, and not just snacks like today but actual meals. Those of you who are familiar with my blog with know that shopping for food is awkward for me as I still live with my family since I’m not old enough to live alone. This means I’m forced to hide anything I buy in stupid places like among my clothes… FUN! Apart from this I do really enjoy food shopping.

On a completely different note, I’m back with my boyfriend. We’ve actually been on and off since we got back together and I completely hate it. I’ve never wanted to be in this sort of relationship; I hate feeling so unsafe and like we’re going to split up any second.

I’m feeling fairly positive for tomorrow, despite it all.