Today has been great so far, food wise. On New Years I decided that I wanted 2013 to be the year I finally reached my goal of losing weight and eventually finding happiness in myself and my body. In order for this to happen, it dawned on me that I would therefore need to adopt a more healthier approach to dieting which includes several changes that I began today (a week late, but I needed time to adjust and get back into a normal routine after the Christmas break!).

These are the changes: – an increased calorie intake limit of 1000 calories – more fruit and vegetables incorporated – making an effort to walk more daily – increasing the amount of water consumed – stressing less about calorie content – allowing myself healthy and yummy snacks – sticking to a bedroom exercise routine I’m really pleased with my choices to be more healthy and give my body what it wants and needs, rather than denying it of certain nutrients for the sake of losing weight, only to stuff my face later on and feel crappy. I want this to be a lifestyle change, mot a quick-fix, crash diet.

Here is what I have eaten so far today, and what I plan to have for dinner in a couple of hours:

B – two honey and oats belvita breakfast biscuits (58)
S – a medium apple (60)
L – rice and chilli con carne (284) with vegetables (30)
S – one raisin brunch bar (150)
D – two wholemeal toasts (210) with peanut butter (68) and banana slices (90)
= 900 calories

I have a really great feeling about 2013.

Summer goals:

July 22, 2012

  • Get down to 120 pounds by August 31st (lose 20 pounds)
  • Sort out my wardrobe of clothes and shoes properly
  • Stop biting my nails and let them grow out
  • Get some sort of job over the summer holidays
  • Buy new pairs of shoes and clothes (if necessary)
  • Complete four chapters of my book for my school project
  • Start doing some sort of exercise for at least an hour every single day

The past few days my relationship with my boyfriend has felt under strain. The loneliness and helplessness I’ve felt as a result has meant I’ve been finding it hard to stop myself from eating anything and everything. Towards the end of last week it even got to the point where I was eating at 4am before going to sleep, and first thing when I woke up to satisfy my urge. Naturally, this has left me feeling constantly full and bloated, and also with terrible stomach pains. Add this to the fact I’m at home all day, everyday, and you’ve got the equation for some serious weight gain…

Well, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of giving in to every craving, to every food thought, to every tantalising smell of food cooking. I’m sick of waiting for everyone to go to sleep so I can raid the kitchen for leftovers and sit in front of the TV shoving it into my mouth. I’m sick of always feeling weak, and tired, and fat. Sick of it, sick of it, sick of it.

Today marks the start of extreme restricting and indoor exercises to whip me back in shape. I’m limiting myself to 300 calories today, all of which I’m going to burn off either on the Wii or doing some other form of exercise. I’m also tempted to drink a cup of Slimatee laxative tea just for that lovely, empty feeling I haven’t felt in so long. I realise this is unhealthy and stupid among various other things, but I’m desperate and out of my mind.

Wish me luck?

New goals and rewards

March 26, 2012

130lbs / 59kg – no rewards

125lbs / 57kg – new earrings

120lbs / 54kg – pretty new bikini

115lbs / 52kg – belly button piercing

My new updated exercise regime

My BMR is 1,494 (which is the amount of calories I burn roughly every day by simply being alive) and there are 3,500 calories in a pound.

This means to lose 1 pound every 2 days, I’d need a calorie deficit of 1,300. My new exercise regime is based around this, to ensure I burn at least 1,300 calories every day, though I’d have to eat nothing at all for it to be truly effective.